Monday, February 14, 2005

Thoughts on V-Day

Does anyone else think that Valentine's Day is completely unfair to the male population? (And a random aside, as I wrote this just now, I was wondering, if people refer to women as "the fairer sex," what are men? "The unfairer sex?" What's the opposite?)

For example, I was in Wal-Mart in and among all the lotions and potions marketed to women, desperately searching for the moisturizer with sunscreen that I, and Target, apparently, had both run out of, as this is the second part of my elaborate two-step beauty routine. While combing the aisle, searching (successfully, in case you are wondering), I noticed two guys who looked young enough to be in high school, but were probably college freshmen, as it was still school hours, comparing different scented bath salts, in search for the perfect scent for their Valentine.

One guy would unscrew the lid, take a big whiff and then hand the jar to his friend for further input. Then he took down the next jar, repeated the process, and then took back the first to compare. My personal mission was long accomplished before those two had compared the merits of the selection of bath salts and chosen the winner, or judging by their comments, the lesser of the evils.

Any holiday that reduces two guys to opening every jar of bath salts in search of a gift has got to have something wrong with it. It wasn't like they weren't trying to find the perfect gift. Anyone who sniffs all the jars of bath salts at Wal-Mart is certainly making an effort. Plus, they get points for being creative. Just for kicks, I cruised over to the designated Valentine's aisle to find it full, the majority of the crowd men, searching for the last minute generic candy or flowers for their sweetie.

I was tempted to tell the guys that whoever they were buying the bath salts for probably really didn't want the bath salts, but I thought better of it. Who am I to say that this guy's girlfriend didn't want bath salts? Perhaps she really wants bath salts, but to me, bath salts are one of those gifts that you either give to or receive from your Grandma.


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